During my first year of residency, as an intern, I got the highest in-training exam results in the entire program. When my program director pulled me aside to tell me this, I just said, “Oh, okay.” 

She looked perplexed and asked me to give a talk to the residency program about my tricks and tips for getting a high score. “But why me?” I wondered. I was an intern who hadn’t matched the prior year, because I wasn’t good enough for the competitive specialty I had chosen.

 

Never feeling good enough

 

At least, that’s what I told myself at the time.

Now, a decade into my clinical career, I still doubt myself. My therapist told me this is related to “imposter syndrome,” and I was surprised to learn this is something many physicians experience. Secretly, I was glad to know it wasn’t just me.

After I finished my residency, I created an outdoor blog and started to contribute writing for medical journals, which eventually propelled me into my current career as a writer, editor, and reviewer for all types of medical content. I have always loved to write, but putting myself out there on the internet, on social media, and in printed journals was terrifying. 

What are people going to say? What if they hate my work? Will people think I gave up being a doctor so I could have a cushy writing job?

My imposter syndrome, again, reared its ugly head, taking up prime real estate in my mind.

Then I started receiving messages about how my writing was inspirational and educational, how it made readers laugh and cry. Readers would thank me for being open and honest; they would tell me they were inspired by how I lived my life the way I wanted to. And yet I wondered, who was I to encourage anyone? How can I be inspiring to others when I am still figuring out this game of life?

That was my imposter syndrome kicking in.   

 

The prevalence among women and physicians

 

Imposter syndrome, first described in a 1978 study published in Psychotherapy Theory, Research and Practice, is characterized as a feeling of inadequacy that persists despite evidence of success.

Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241–247.

The researchers found the phenomenon prevalent in the 150 high-achieving women in their cohort. These women were high functioning; they were CEOs and leaders in their communities or businesses, yet many suffered from imposter syndrome. Despite their incredible accomplishments, these women had difficulty with internal validation of success. 

 

 

Overcoming my imposter syndrome

Truth be told, overcoming my feelings of inadequacy is a work in progress.

Every now and again, the negative thoughts creep in, but luckily I have found ways to stifle them. I read recently in one of Michelle Obama’s books about one of her powerful friends who wakes up every morning, looks in the mirror, and says in a confident and jolly voice, “Hello, Buddy!” I was reminded of how important it is to talk to yourself positively, give yourself compliments in the mirror, and remind yourself of your accomplishments.

I like to wake up and tell myself, “Good morning, beautiful” every morning. I also like to reminisce on a memory that brings me joy.

 

Seek compliments from others

 

We are often taught to be humble, to not solicit compliments from others by drawing attention to ourselves, but I now disagree with this. I think we should feel comfortable asking others what they love about us.

Whenever I receive thoughtful messages from friends, I am taken aback by their kind words. I try my best to accept them as truth. I like to sit with a group of girlfriends and exchange “affirmation notes,” in which I put on paper what I love about my friends, and they write down what they admire about me. 

 

Know that you are not alone

 

Seek out a mentor or a therapist and talk about your struggle with imposter syndrome. Share the realities of your inner dialogue with them, and you’re likely to find that you are not the only one who struggles with feelings like these. As well, they may be able to offer you advice and coping strategies to deal with these feelings. 

 

Give yourself permission to be powerful

 

You went to medical school and residency and worked endlessly to have a successful career as a doctor. Permit yourself to relish the feelings of success and power. Treat yourself to something nice, take a vacation, and allow yourself to enjoy the fruits of your labor. You have accomplished so much, and so many other people look up to you; it's time that you acknowledge and celebrate your successes.