I have lost and gained many friends over the years due to my demanding medical career. I have neglected friendships due to the intense hours and demands of the job, but I have also strengthened friendships with those who have stood by me and supported me throughout the years. 

Maintaining friendships as an adult is challenging, especially when you have a high-powered career, but I believe it is so essential to your overall well-being.

 

Add time to your calendar

 

Establishing new friendships and maintaining old ones takes time, effort, and vulnerability. We often don’t have much free time, so make sure you are scheduling time to have fun with your friends. 

This includes in-person time and staying in communication through texts, video chats, or phone calls. Schedule lunch and dinner dates, weekend trips, outdoor activities, and similar. I also love sending my friends cards and gifts in the mail. The bottom line: It takes effort to set aside time for friends, but you’ll be the better for it.

 

Befriend fellow doctors

 

Your fellow doctors understand your daily stressors, and they can be a great social support network when you want to talk about difficult days, interesting cases, or the business side of medicine.

Spending time with your fellow doctors can be a great way to boost your confidence in your career path, find guidance, and bond with people with whom you naturally share a lot in common. 

 

Emphasize quality over quantity

 

I believe it is easy to have 20 surface-level friendships but difficult to have five close friends. Quality friendships are often tricky to build but are worth the time and effort. You want to be around friends who believe in you, who are honest with you, who want to celebrate and mourn with you, and who aren't afraid to have difficult conversations with you. 

Stray away from friends who don’t have your best interest at heart. Being a physician can be challenging, and sometimes you just want to vent (and maybe shed some tears). Being surrounded by quality friends can help you work through these challenging times, so it’s important to find time to build and maintain healthy relationships with those who matter the most.  

 

Classify your friend circles

 

Ever since taking that first step on your journey with medicine, you have been surrounded by peers who share the same motivation and interests as you—becoming friends with your classmates and colleagues is natural. However, being friends with those outside your peer group is also important, as you can learn and grow differently with different groups of people. 

 

My advice is to avoid too much “shop talk” and focus on your shared interests, such as food, hobbies, and world events. Having different groups of friends allows you to consider different perspectives, helping you become a more well-rounded individual whose life isn’t solely about work.​​

 

Steer clear of unhealthy friendships

 

Tending to quality friendships with people you care about is just as important as steering clear of toxic friendships.

These individuals can weigh you down and could potentially jeopardize your career and happiness. 

As a high-earning physician, you may encounter individuals who want to become your friend because you have the power to write prescriptions and treat ailments, and because of your hefty paycheck. You may find that you are meeting friends who are attracted to you for the wrong reasons, and the sooner you see this, the sooner you can spend your time attracting the right people for you. 

 

Schedule alone time

 

Part of balancing a healthy social life with your career is spending quality time with yourself.

Being alone to reflect, relax, and practice self-care rituals makes you a better friend to others.

Schedule time for activities best done alone that bring you joy. If you are burning the candle at both ends—focusing exclusively on your career and your social life—without taking care of yourself, you may find that your friendships will suffer.